Suffolk &amp; Cambs

New car, tick. Promotion at work, tick. Bigger house, tick. Better salary, tick. But why do you still feel dissatisfied and want more? Welcome to hedonic adaptation &#8211; a glitch in our brains that&#8217;s stopping us feeling truly happy. We spoke to Dr Tamara Scully, Chartered Clinical Psychologist at <a href="https://psychologistsuffolk.co.uk/index.html">Castle Psychology</a> in Framlingham about steps we can take to achieve the holy grail of happiness &#8211; a feeling of satisfaction. 



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-where-do-feelings-of-dissatisfaction-come-from">Where do feelings of dissatisfaction come from?</h2>



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Despite the privilege of life in the UK and in many countries across the world a huge proportion of us feel dissatisfied.&nbsp;This is a puzzle – our lives are much more comfortable, we are generally better off financially, we have access to better health care, we can travel with ease – and yet our levels of dissatisfaction gets higher year on year. 



Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale proposes that there are a number of “glitches” in our brains that make it really difficult for us to be content with what we have, including one called hedonic adaptation. This is our mind’s predilection to come back to our baseline of happiness regardless of what positive or negative thing we have experienced.   



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To put this in to context, say we work really hard to save up for something special – a new bike, a great pair of boots, a new tent&#8230;&nbsp; We purchase the new tent and experience this amazing feeling of euphoria; we have been waiting a long time for this particular tent. We go home, put the tent up in the garden and continue to bask in the lovely endorphins that the new tent has generated for us.&nbsp;But over time we get used to the new tent and we stop noticing it.&nbsp;It becomes just another piece of equipment that sits in the garage alongside all the other tent equipment.&nbsp;



This happens with almost everything.&nbsp;Even the people in our lives are not safe from the adaptation process. Remember the heady excitement of meeting your current partner for the first time? I wonder how many of you wake up each morning full of excitement when you see the person sleeping next to you?&nbsp; Sadly, for most of us our brain has adapted to them and while we get to experience a deeper sense of connection, they no longer elicit the same exciting response regardless of how fabulous we think they are. &nbsp;&nbsp;



So why does this happen? Our minds adapt to almost everything and it is because of this adaptation that we can’t don’t hold on to those really good feelings.&nbsp;When we get dissatisfied or bored with the stuff we have, our instinct is often to get more stuff and this creates the hedonic treadmill. &nbsp;We adapt to the newer car, the better job, the bigger house and we want an even bigger car, an even better house…. you get the picture.&nbsp;



Want to get off the treadmill of discontent? Here are 6 tips inspired by Dr Laurie Santos to increase your feelings of satisfaction:



1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Invest in experiences that are difficult to adapt to



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When we invest in a physical object like a car or a new pair of shoes they generally hang around for a long time.&nbsp; And it this “hanging around” that allows our brain to move from excitement into adaption.&nbsp; Experiences on the other hand are much more fleeting, spending a week in the sun, getting a massage, having a swim in the ocean – they are just not around for long enough for our brains to adapt to them.



2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Practice gratitude for what you have



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Gratitude is associated with higher levels of wellbeing. Our brains have what psychologists call a negativity bias &#8211; this means that our brains are really good at noticing and remembering the tough stuff (the presentation that didn’t go so well, the person who was rude in the supermarket), but not so good at noticing and remembering the positive things (the lovely woman who held the door open for us or the delicious sandwich we had for lunch).&nbsp;Practising gratitude helps us to redress this balance.&nbsp;



The research around this is powerful – by just jotting down three things you are grateful for each day for 21 days you not only start to report higher levels of happiness but you also start to change the wiring in your brain to spot the good things in the future.&nbsp;These don’t have to be big things; it can be the lovely cup of coffee you had this morning or the parking space you found when you were running late.&nbsp;&nbsp;



3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Imagine losing everything



This probably sounds strange, but another way to hot wire our gratitude and dodge the adaptation glitch is to imagine you have lost what’s important to you.&nbsp; This might be your partner, the job that you absolutely love or the lovely garden that came with your house. By taking the time to imagine it all gone you experience a new appreciation for its presence.&nbsp;



4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Take a break



Alternatively, you can take a break from the things you love doing, eating chocolate, going out for dinner, buying new clothes. Remember when we do something all the time the brain adapts, by taking a break you interrupt this process and increase your level of appreciation.&nbsp; One fun study even showed more enjoyment for your favourite TV show when it was interrupted by commercial breaks!



5. Consider how technology is affecting you 



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If we think about it from an evolutionary perspective – our brains have evolved for comparison. Way back when, when we were living in small tribes it was so important to be able to compare your contribution with others to ensure your continued acceptance within the group. Fast forward many hundreds of years and we now have the capacity to compare ourselves to people all over the world and for many people this plays an important role in both triggering and maintaining high levels of dissatisfaction &nbsp;



6. Approach New Year&#8217;s resolutions carefully. 



Resolutions can be a good thing, but we need to be careful about how we set them up. Most people’s initial instinct is to turn to willpower, but this is not so helpful. What we know about willpower is that it is like a muscle &#8211; the more we use it through the day the less willpower we have at the end of the day. 



We are much better off picking something so small that we don’t need any willpower  – so instead of committing to a 30 min run three times a week, chose a three minute run and once you have managed to do this consistently then you can increase the intensity.  Taking this “better than nothing approach”, a phrase coined by Dr Christine Carter, an American Sociologist, greatly increases our chances of success and ultimately supports a sense of satisfaction.

Never satisfied? 6 ways to break the cycle of always wanting more

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